Recently in Texas Marriage Category

The bachelorette party is over. We had it Wednesday night and there was a little drama, but the drama left around 11:00 PM and that left the rest of us to continue having fun. The only bad thing is that the bachelorette ended up leaving because she and the drama rode together.

It was a little awkward because the bachelorette ended up bringing her fiance (don't ask I have no idea how that happened). And the drama brought her boyfriend. Weird I know, but except for the drama, we all managed to have fun.

Anyway, today is the wedding. I'm conflicted about how I feel. After Prop 2 passed here in Texas, I read on some blogs that some people have told their friends that they won't attend any weddings until Prop 2 is overturned. I can see their point of view, but it seems to me that could lead to hurt feelings.

It hurts that I will go and see my friend stand before us and enter into a legal binding contract with her future husband, and I am denied those same rights. I will be happy for my friend. I'll go to the wedding. But that won't stop me from feeling hurt and anger at the voters who let their judgmental, right-winged, conservative religious views guide them when voting this last November.

I guess I should start getting ready. I'll put on my happy face and my friend will never know that I'm anything other than happy for her. It would be to selfish to even bring up how I feel about the state of marriage in Texas. This is my friends day, and I should do my part to make sure she is happy.

I know, I should have stated that earlier tonight. I was however, hoping that we would gain a a little more of a foot hold in the elections. As I write this, 80% of the precincts are reporting in, and there is now no hope of having more than 25% of the votes on Proposition 2.

I'm still trying to sort out exactly how I feel about this defeat. Yes, I'm saddened by the results of the election. Of course I'm angry about it. Do I feel defeated? Not really.

Growing up I lived in a small town here in Texas. When I say small, I'm not exaggerating. There were only about 750 people within the actual city limits. When I graduated from high school, there were only 50 people in my class. So when I say it was small I truly mean minuscule.

So here I was growing up in a small Texan town and my family and I didn't attend either of the two churches in town. To top that off in high school it was clear that I wasn't all that interested in dating any of the girls in school. As a result I got called all types of names, faggot being the most popular. I got beat on by two to three different football jocks every couple of days, but I never let that experience make me feel defeated.

After a brief break in dealing with discrimination when I went to college, I joined the Navy in 1986 because I ran out of money for my education. To make a possible long story short, I got caught in a situation that led to my outing in the Navy. After a night of sitting in the barracks with one of my roommates drinking way too much alcohol, we ended up passed out naked in the same bed drunk. Another roommate walked in, found us sleeping and called NCIS on us.

Did I let that defeat me?

No way. That battle I actually won. Just sticking to the story that we were to drunk to remember anything, and the fact that they didn't find any forensic evidence (yes they checked the sheets for any evidence) to support their claim that we were gay allowed me to wait that out. Eventually some high and mighty muckity muck finally decided there wasn't a case and dropped all charges.

Word of what happened spread like wild-fire through my squadron. So of course I had to deal with the stares and discriminatory comments behind my back. That was nothing compared to the fight to not have a dishonorable discharge on my record.

After getting out of the Navy, I moved to Oklahoma City where I was a victim of fag bashing twice. After dealing with cops that acted like they had better things to do than take a statement from a poor little faggot that got the shit beat out of him, did I feel defeated? Well that time, I almost let that defeat me. In the end I learned from the experience and let it make me a stronger person.

So the fact that 75% of the voters felt it necessary to write discrimination into the state constitution will not defeat me. I will admit that I briefly thought about moving to a blue state, or even Canada or the Netherlands, but what would that accomplish for my GLBT brothers and sisters that stay here in Texas? It would mean one less vote on issues that are important to achieving equality. It would mean that the money I donated to organizations to try and defeat Proposition 2 would have one less supporter. And while a ratio of 75:25 is hard to take, what will happen if I move and it finally comes down to just one vote to achieve equality? The GLBT community wouldn't have that vote available to them when they really need it.

Here's something to think about... What would have happened to the civil rights movements during the 1950's and 60's if people like Rosa Parks and Marin Luther King Jr. had decided to do move because of discrimination?

With a little over a quarter of the precincts reporting it, Proposition 2 is still passing with 76% of voters in favor of the amendment.

More to come later...

Living in a Red State sucks. Currently the vote is 380,476 in favor of Proposition 2 and 127,120 against.

I know it is still early and only three percent of the precincts have reported, but it doesn't look promising. Most of the votes are early voting returns.

I had hoped that Dallas county would vote against the proposition but according to the early returns 30% of the voters that turned out for early voting were against Proposition 2. Here in Tarrant county only 22% voted no for the proposed amendment during early voting.

I didn't really expect Tarrant county to overwhelmingly vote against Proposition 2. It seems that Fort Worth citizens leave the GLBT activism to our neighbors in Dallas. I wonder what it would take to make the GLBT community in Tarrant county wake up and realize we can't leave our future in the hands of other people.

So far the only county to lead the no vote is Travis county. 60% of the voters who showed up for early voting did their part to defeat Proposition 2.

I guess I can try and remain optimistic about our chances of showing the nation that a red state like Texas won't discriminate against any of their citizens, but who would I be kidding at this point?

Early returns are courtesy of the Texas Secretary of State web site.

Tomorrow is the big day for the Texas GLBT community. Voter turn out was light during early voting. While I would love to see Texas become the first state to vote down a constitutional admendment dealing with same-sex marriage, I can't help but think that Proposition 2 will pass.

I received an interesting phone call yesterday urging voters to vote no for Proposition 2. It was a pre-recorded message, so I didn't catch the name of the organization, other to catch that it was a church group. I was at first thinking it was a call in favor of Prop 2, but imagine my surprise when it said they were against the proposition.

I couldn't figure out if they were in favor of same-sex marriage or not. They were actually using the argument that the amendment would affect all Texans not in a traditional civil marriage, such as common law marriages. Their argument was simple. All it would take is a crafty insurance company, divorce lawyer, or a couple's place of employment could find a common law marriage as not being recognized by Texas. As a result a person who would now be considered an eligible dependent could be denied coverage for insurance. Or, in the case of a split no equitable division of the couples assets.

I actually think by not mentioning the same-sex relationship aspect of the proposition, and just stating the Prop 2 affects all Texans is a good way for them to go about getting the amendment defeated. As a gay man, it's easier for me to see the arguments for the GLBT community to vote against the proposition. I don't always stop to think how it might affect a straight couple that never felt the need to go get a piece of paper from the state recognizing their commitment to each other.

Living in the heart of the bible belt, I have my doubts about the defeat of Proposition 2. I think too many churches are going to urge their members to vote in favor or the amendment. From my experience growing up with a divorced mother who has entered into a common law marriage, some of the churches still view that as living in sin. Never mind the fact that such relationships are recognized by our state government. They will be willing to sacrifice the rights of any couple to enter into a relationship that they don't approve of.

I was reading through the analyses (PDF) of the proposed changes to our constitution from the state legislature today. I found a couple of ridicules arguments in favor of proposition 2.

Part of the first argument states,

The equal protection clause and other provisions of the Texas Constitution are similar to those in other state constitutions and could be interpreted by courts to permit same-sex marriage or to require the recognition of a legal status identical or similar to marriage.

I take this as an admission that our constitution already reads that same-sex couples could already receive marriage certificates, if only a judge would find the DOMA unconstitutional. And that is what prop 2 is all about. Preventing judges from being able to tell the right wing moral majority that they are wrong in denying us the right to have our relationships recognized by the government.

Which brings me to the second thing that I found in their arguments that makes no sense. It says,

The proposed amendment would not discriminate against any person. Approval of the amendment by the voters would not prevent same-sex couples from pursuing their lifestyles. Approval of the amendment would only ensure that the union of same-sex couples is not sanctioned by the state.

Prop 2 wouldn't discriminate against any person? How stupid does the moral right think we are? I guess they need to tell themselves that so they can sleep at night. I find the thought of amending any constitution to say that any two people can not marry to be very discriminatory.

Saying that I'm free to enter into a relationship but I can't have it recognized by the state can't be viewed as anything less that discrimination. There is no other word for it. There are additional rights and obligations that a couple gain by having the state recognize their union. Denying a same-sex couple equal access to those rights is simply unfair treatment based on prejudice. And that is the very definition of discrimination.

Early voting start this monday, October 24 and runs until November 4. I hope that everyone here in Texas will go out and vote against this hateful piece of legislation.

The month is over half over, and in three weeks voting will start here in Texas on amending our state constitution. Actually early voting starts in just five days. Given the short time frame left before the election, I'm surprised that more hasn't been on the news about what will be on the ballot.

There are nine propositions on the ballot this November, and none of them have really made it into the news. Of all of them, I figured Prop 2 would be the one that we would hear about. Sure it has been mentioned on the news, but not to the extent that I expected.

Maybe as election time draws closer we'll hear more about it.

Was I wrong in thinking that there would be rallies in Austin from GLBT groups or Christian groups voicing their support or opposition for Prop 2? I really thought that there was going to be more in the news about a constitutional amendment to define marriage as only being valid between a man and a woman.

According to the 2000 census there are 42,919 same-sex couples here in Texas. Should fellow Texans tell them their relationships shouldn't be protected? I don't think we should.

In 2003 the Texas Legislature told those couple that their relationships were not worthy of legal recognition. In that year they passed a Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) that told us that marriage or civil unions were not valid in our state. Out of fear that the DOMA may be overturned by a judge finding it unconstitutional, they now want Texans to corrupt our constitution with bigotry.

I can only hope that the lack of news on the subject means that it will not pass. I'm afraid however, that the closer it gets to election time, that churches across the state will preach hatred and bigotry and convince their members to get out and vote in favor of Prop 2.

I just received an email from No Nonsense In November that I thought I would share with my fellow Texans that are planning on voting no on Propostion 2 this November.

What: No Nonsense Campaign Campus Organizing 101 with Campaign Director and former State Representative, Glen Maxey. And, The Tarrant County No Nonsense in November Rally and Mixer
 
When: Saturday, September 10, 2005
 
No Nonsense Campaign Campus Organizing 101 11:00am- 1:00pm
 
The Tarrant County No Nonsense in November Rally and Mixer 2:00pm- 4:00pm
 
Where: Angel of Hope - 900 Page Ave. - Fort Worth, TX 76110
 
The No Nonsense in November campaign brings you Campaign 101 : A Crash course in political organizing on your campus and in your neighborhood to defeat the Texas Constitutional Marriage Amendment.
 
Constitutional Amendment #2 would write into the Texas Bill of Rights a prohibition against marriage and civil unions for same-sex couples. We must stand together to defeat the Nonsense.
 
The voters on your college campus and in your community can play a huge role in defeating this amendment on Nov. 8. Learn how from former State Representative and No Nonsense in November campaign director Glen Maxey – an expert on campaign organizing in Texas.
 
Maxey will be introducing the No Nonsense in November campaign followed by training in:
Strategy
Framing
Messaging
Voter Identification
Voter Persuasion
Get Out the Vote
And More.
 
Take this opportunity to learn from Maxey’s over 30 years of political organizing. Learn how you can put your training in to action right away. Your hard work and dedication in organizing students and voters around Tarrant County will play a key role in victory for Texans and families across the state.
 
Following this event please join us for the Tarrant County No Nonsense in November Kick off Rally where you can meet other interested and activated individuals and learn how to get involved in the fight against this discriminatory Constitutional Amendment immediately.
 
REMEMBER: Marriage Matters. Family Matters. We Must Work Together Against Constitutional Amendment #2.
 
For more information about either event, email Keith@NoNonsenseInNovember.com

I currently have to work on that day, but I am going to try and get off work so I can attend and see what I can do to help put an end to this type of bigotry in Texas.

Three pieces of same-sex marriage news to talk about today.

First Aruba must register the lesbian marriage I mentioned the other day. While legally this is a good thing for the couple, I expect given the news surrounding the issue, they should probably stay in Holland. Also if the Aruban government takes the case to Holland's Supreme Court, I have a feeling that the ruling will be upheld, simply because Holland is more liberal than Aruba.

Note to the Aruban government, just because you legally have to recognize same-sex marriages performed in Holland, doesn't mean you have to start performing them. That is a whole different battle that will have to be decided in another venue.

The second piece of news is that Massachusetts voters could be voting in 2008 to amend their state constitution. Mass. lawmakers are pushing to have same-sex marriages defined as a union between a man and a woman.

Gov. Mitt Romney initially supported a compromise which would provide GLBT's Vermont style civil-unions. He has now withdrawn his support of the compromise because he feels that civil-unions cloud the issue.

The one problem that the Constitutional Convention is going to have to deal with is loss of support. The latest person to withdraw support is Rep. Anthony Petruccelli, D-Boston.

Petruccelli told Bay Windows, which features gay news, that legalized gay marriage has "made strong unions among people who have not had the opportunity until that time to get married."

While marriage has probably "made strong unions," I doubt that straight marriage has been weakened by gays and lesbians getting married. Wake up Mass. just because two men decide to say "I do" doesn't affect the way you live your daily life.

Finally Gov. Rick Perry of my home state of Texas has sent 10,000 emails in support of the marriage amendment that we will be voting on in November. All I have to say about that tonight, is I hope that his support of Prop. 2 comes back to bite him on the butt when it's time for reelection.